Excuses can be a part of life. The unfortunate nature of excuses is they can lead to even more excuses. “I will do the laundry later”. Then two weeks pass and you have still not completed the laundry. Now you are facing even more laundry! This can increase stress and anxiety. In a society that is already stressful and anxiety inducing enough, this can be the per-viable straw that broke the camels back!
Excuses are not only prone to occur with chores, school work, or in the daunting spreadsheets at the office. No excuses can permeate all aspects of your life. For some excuses become a normal part of their life. When this happens not only does their stress and anxiety increase but also normal social functioning can become impaired. They may have deep regrets for not being proactive in their life or may become depressed. This can lead to even greater struggles for them and often friends and family show little remorse. They may appear unsympathetic to them or even point out how they have used excuses and lacked action in their life. This can bring a person who already struggles with excuse making deeper into despair.
What causes a person to make excuses? Well it could be a matter of indecisiveness. They struggle with making decisions or fear they will make a wrong choice and regret it later. They have low self esteem. They may feel they may be able to get a certain job, so why try. They in general have a lack of motivation and struggle with becoming motivated to complete things in their life. They have always had friends, family, or significant others that have made the vast majority of decisions for them. If they never learned that they have their own voice and how to express their thoughts and feelings effectively. They may struggle to do it when the time comes, they will make an excuse not to make a decision and may wait till they have someone to talk to about the choice then.
So how do you go from a life of making excuses to one of action? One where you get results in your life. You have to learn to recognize the act of making excuses. Why you make them, what makes you feel the need to make an excuse, and then how to intervene when you are about to make an excuse. This can take time. You have to be patient and realize that the pattern of excuse making did not occur over night You reinforced this pattern of thinking by actions, thoughts, and rewards. This could have spanned a long period of time. With counseling and placing dedicated action in your treatment you can learn how to turn a pattern of excuses into results driven focus!