Life, Things Don’t Always go as Planned.

So much can happen in life.  We can be very successful, have a stable life, happy relationships, amazing job, and then all of that can tumble and fall like a stack of cards.  Hopefully not all at once, but I have seen that happen to people.  What do you do?  Do you give up and say I am done, I am not going to try anymore.  Will you accept defeat and throw in the proverbial towel.   I would like to think that most of you would say I am going to pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue on with my life.

Needless to say unfortunate things happen.  We have to live our life, understand that things come up, and even though we would often like to know why, we may never know the true reason.  It is during these times though that I would like to think that the most growth happens.  We can in these moments show the world that we are capable of moving forward with our lives no matter what happens.  This is an important life skill, and far too often we have not developed this skill early on in life.  This can make personal growth stall later in life.  If we have not developed the necessary coping skills and interventions it can be harder for us when something life changing happens later in life.

So how do we develop these skills later in life?  Well that can vary from person to person.  Some people will benefit just from having some sessions with a counselor and making sense of things.  Others will need to not only have counseling but will also have to learn to restructure their thought patterns.  This can be a challenge for them though.  Why?  As years have progressed they have reinforced their thinking patterns and tend to be more rigid in their thoughts and actions.  If they have been successful for the greater part of their life, say 40 years, this can be a huge blow to them, and never facing a “defeat” they do not know how to recover.  This can lead to isolation, anger, frustration, and in severe responses suicide.

Ideally if something like this would happen, having a support system composed of healthy people is a must.  Having friends and family that are understanding, supportive, and can see further issues developing can be a huge helping factor.  Someone experiencing a loss like this needs many layers of support.  Friends, family, and counseling can go a long way in helping.  We cannot recommend enough the person stays active in healthy activities.  The least amount of time spent alone dwelling on the past the better.  Far too often our minds can become a prison of negativity.

Counseling should be focused on helping the person to change thinking patterns.  This can be uncomfortable and challenging for the person but as time progresses things will become more natural.  There will be slip ups, but that is OK, if you recognize the slip up, that is progress!  We encourage writing in a journal to track patterns of thought.  We recommend you read our blog post

In life things don’t always go as we planned.  It can be hard at times to bounce back from what we may consider as a defeat.  With support, some structure, better understanding of things, and counseling this rough time can be made easier.

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